• too many fans

    Submitted by Ryan B on 4/1/2010 9:06 AM

    Who *doesn't* try to lay a finger on my butterfinger?! I have to keep my stash hidden away in an ultra-secret vault wit laser bars, and dna detectors, guarded by dna neutral carnivorous frogs. Do you know how many delivery boys I've been through in the past month alone?! Or else, if I don't feel like going to all the trouble, I just munch my favorite right after purchase, and then *they* have no finger-laying chance! muahaha..!

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    Think Nobody's Gonna Lay A Finger On YOUR BUTTERFINGER®? Well think again! Bar thefts are on the rise and it can happen to anyone-even YOU!

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    Security Tip 1

    Tip # 1
    Most crimes are committed by people known to the victim. So don't get to know anyone.

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    Did someone lay a finger on your BUTTERFINGER®? File a claim to have your pilfered deliciousness replaced for FREE! *Limited to the first 100,000 claims. Purchase not required.

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